Jrnl Entry No. 2.29.2000

I returned home to Warren over the last weekend just for the purpose of to get some pussy. I arrived in town about 10 P.M. over to Lauren’s house. When I arrived she didn’t smile or anything. I was figuring I would probably be leaving because she was not gonna act right, have an attitude, and not want to have the good sex we usually have when we are together. I walked in the house but didn’t get comfortable because her face didn’t say get comfortable. I had my coat on still, ready to walk out the door. She said that she was tired and what not.

She started to warm up after a while. We went to the grocery store and to Walmart. When we came back we got heated up and took our clothes off. When my dick got rock hard, I told her to get her daughter’s polaroid and let’s take some pictures. She said, “what you ask for, you shall receive.” I guess she thought I was bullshitting. I like little freakish shit like that. I was naked and I told her to take a picture of me standing by the fire place with my dick pointing straight forward. After that she told me to take a picture of her. I told her to go put on some thong underwear, and she went upstairs and put on a pair. She got down on her knees with her ass facing me. She pulled up her little see-through ankle length dress or whatever it was, you could see right through it. She turned around and looked at the camera and I snapped the picture. Then she suggested that I take one of her sucking my dick. She told me to sit on a pillow on the floor, and she put the head of my dick in her mouth and closed her eyes, and I snapped the picture; it came out nice. My dick was nice and hard and thick looking in her mouth, and her eyes were shut like she was giving me the blow job of my life.

Lauren doesn’t suck my dick often. She was doing it last year, but when I left a note in her mail box and said something about her doing it, she hasn’t done it since. I like the way she sucks my dick. It was like a teasing suck, and it feels so good. The only girl who was able to make me cum sucking my dick was Rebecca. I think that Lauren could accomplish that also if we work on it. I used to eat her pussy all the time when we first started out, but she says she didn’t like it so I stopped. Lauren and I have the best sex ever. My dick gets so hard for her. I love cuming in her pussy doggie style and with her on top. You should hear me, it sounds like I’m dying when I cum in that ass. She makes me just want to holla.

After I took the picture of her sucking my dick, I got behind her and stuck my dick in her pussy with her thong still on. I snapped a picture with the head of my dick in her pussy from the back. That was a nice picture also with her big ass up in the air in a thong, with my dick sliding the thong over a little to penetrate the pussy. I then took off her panties and snapped a picture with my dick going in from behind. After that we made love. I finished on top of her palming her as in my hands and busting a nice wet warm nut in her pussy. After that I got up and the cum rolled out of her pussy. She was lying there with her legs open. You could see the cum between her legs. I snapped a picture of her lying there. Then she got up and stood by the fire place sideways so that I could see the curb of her ass. She put her hands on her hips and I snapped another picture. We were all out of film after that. We started to watch a movie and we fell asleep naked in each other’s arms.

I’ve talked about Lauren before in the past and stated how good her pussy is to me and how we were in love until she found out I was having some kind of relations with Rebecca. She was right for getting rid of me. I was having a relationship with her and Rebecca. That was a great sexual time in my life. I’ve already talked about that also. I tried coming back into Lauren life after that, and she would let me back in partially. We would have great sex and maybe go out a couple of times, and then she would start doggin’ me, and I would leave her alone. We have went on like this for at least three years. I’ve tried to get back with her but she just dogged me. I hurt her trust I guess. This time around it seems like she is over that and she has been acting nice and we have been getting along better than any of the past times when I came back into her life.

Last year around this time, I had premature thoughts of marrying Lauren. I was seriously thinking about being with her and taking her to N.Y. with me and we would live happily ever after. But after one time of us being together after I said that, I didn’t feel the same. I saw that my love had changed for her and through all the doggin’ me when I was seriously trying to get back with her, my love for her was gone and lost. I told that I didn’t feel the same about her as I used to, and that we shouldn’t see each other. And I proceeded to move forward with my relationship with Sausha. But now since Lauren and I have been back together, it’s been good. My heart is still a little hardened toward her, but just like I fell in love with her before because when I first met her, I didn’t like; as we spent more time together, I fell in love with her. She has plans on moving to Virginia this summer. If I let her move there, we will never come together.

Lauren and I have had lots of fun together like the time when we went to Freak-Nik. We went to some club and I was freaking her on the dance floor. After the club was over, we went out to the car and fucked right in the parking lot. The one year when went to Vels on the Circle in Cleveland for New Years, and she had on this black long satin night gown type dress, and I was freaking her that night. I used to like to go places where nobody knew us and just get nasty on the floor. I like doing things like that. I have an exotic type mind. I think most people say they wouldn’t like a stripper to be their girl, but I think I would love it. I would even probably like my girl to be in porn film. I think I would be turned on by it. Like when Rebecca and I used to have threesomes with Mitchell and Tracey, I liked that shit.

I think Lauren has that type of mind also. She likes to fuck in front of a mirror and look as we are doing it. She once mentioned about having sex with two guys, but we never really discussed it. I think that is partly why we would make a good couple. We have fun together in bed, out at clubs, etc. And besides the stretch marks, I think I have mentioned this before, Lauren has the greatest ass I have ever stuck my dick into. I love the shape of her body in the clothes she wears. Bottom line is that Lauren turns me on and that is what I want in a wife. I have not been turned on by anyone like she turns me on. And now I have these pictures at my apartment and I have been looking at them every day, and thinking to myself, “how can I let this ass go, look at it.” She has the type of ass that guys love to fuck. It’s nice and round and plump.

I know I said that I really don’t want to be with a woman with three kidz, and that is not the real problem. The problem with the kidz issue that I have with Sausha is that her kidz are little and need baby sitters and shit. Lauren’s kidz are 14, 9, and 7. They can basically watch themselves. Sausha has no steady job and she wants to go to school. Lauren works as an assistant manager of bookkeeping. She is more stable in her life and can help me better to take care of her kidz than Sausha can.

I have to realize what’s important to me. Financial stability is important, sex is important, and good times are important. With Lauren bringing in some income, I don’t know how much, and with my budgeting skills, we will probably be alright. With our sex life, we should be all right. With our ability to go out and have a good time together, we should be alright. I believe we can be great friends and great lovers. I don’t know how I will be as a step-father though. Her kidz like me so I shouldn’t have a problem with them. They are passed the brat stage unlike Sausha’s youngest son Rykell. I still don’t like him. He will probably turn out to be a good kid too.

Lauren has forgotten about the past she says, and feels that we can get along. I haven’t forgotten how she was doggin’ me all those years, but I will get over it especially with all that ass in my face every night. She won my heart the first time, so I’ll see if she can do it again. If she does, we will get married later like when the kidz are grown and out the house, when she will be truly mine. If I can’t hold her off that long, I guess I’ll give in. I’m looking forward to being with her and us making a life together, and doing it like we used to. I guess it’s meant to be, otherwise, I would have been left her lone. Rhonda is not for me. She has a time and place for everything attitude that I don’t have. I will fuck in the middle of the grocery store aisle if it wasn’t against the law. Sausha has some of what I want, and some things I don’t. She says she is ready to be free now. Lauren has passed her up in the freedom department with the nude photos. Sausha says she would only do that if she was married, and I have a feeling even then that she would be stiff with it. Sausha has a lot to learn, and I don’t have time to teach it to her. I love Sausha but I’m ready for what Lauren has to offer me.

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