Today in New York was the first snow fall of the winter. I
guess I better buy me a shovel soon because the snow plows around here come and
just pile snow right up against your car parked on the street and leave your
car stuck if you don’t have a shovel to dig yourself out.
I have stopped worrying about my bills so much and money
that I don’t have. If need be, I’ll just get one month behind on my rent, which
will probably be cool since the landlord already has the last months rent
I’m starting to get lonely in my apartment all alone with no
one to talk to on the phone even to tell myself “I should be fuckin by this
date.” I’ve met like about six girls and we exchanged numbers and what not but
no one has called. Me and the one girl from the Bronx were talking pretty fine
then all of a sudden she stopped talking
to me, putting me off when I’d call her. This one girl named Nicole or Francine
called me one time and we talked for like two hours, but I haven’t heard from
her since. I called the number she gave me and asked for Nicole, someone said
that no Nicole lived there. I’ve been calling and asking for Francine and
Francine is never there according to whoever picks up the phone. I met this
dance instructor, choreographer, etc and she seemed pretty cool. I seen her
dance at the Kit Kat Club for the crowd by the DJ both , and I was
turned on by it. I have paged her twice and she has not called me back. Maybe
she is busy.
I don’t have time to be chasing hoes all over town and
trying to spend whatever little time they have to spare to spend with me. If a
bitch doesn’t have time to spend quality time with me then fuck her. Like with
Melonie, she didn’t want to spend time alone with me and she just stopped
calling me so fuck her. I ain’t doin’ nuttin wrong so I don’t know what I’m gonna do about my pussy situation. The
only pussy I can get is in Ohio and maybe some in Syracuse, but fuck that shit.
That is one of the reasons why I moved up here so I wouldn’t have to travel an
hour or two for some pussy.
I guess it’s just meant to be that way for now. I guess
bitches will come when they will come. But they better not wait too late to
come because if they come when I got something like a Benz or some money in my
pocket from music. I will just nut in their mouth and send them walking out of
my house to catch the train or cab. I mean if hoes won’t be nice and be with me
while I’m just a regular good looking guy, then why should I be nice to them
when they talkin’ to me just because I look good in a Benz.
I can’t believe these pussy ass people in New York. A little
snow fall which will probably only accumulate about four inches at the most,
and they let us go home from work early. I mean all that up on your ass blowin’
the horn and shit in the summer time; let a little snow fall and the people are
wimping up like a bunch of little bitches who just got slapped in the mouth.
Today is the next day.
Last night I got a call from two young ladies that I gave my
number to. I paged Latonia and she called me back. That was like my third time
paging her. I wasn’t gonna call her anymore after last night. I found out from
our little conversation we had that she is a Knick dancer. That is pretty cool
I told her, and I told her that I liked her dancing at the club. She said it
would be possible for us to meet again. She was sleepy and was about to take a
nap in the dance studio where she was about to have rehearsal. She told me to
call her at work today. Now Burton was like play games and don’t call her
anymore until she calls me, but I’m not playin’ those games. If a hoe can’t see
that I’m comin’ with the real deal holyfield, then fuck em’ they can step. That’s
the game I play, “act right or act the part by yourself.” Francine also called
me after I had been calling her for like three days. She’s cool and I think I
may be able to work with her. I may end up liking her the most. She has that
dark skin tone that I like.
Kenneth came over last night to get my key for my apartment.
I guess he and his girl are going to chill there for the weekend. Now I met
Kenneth and Ricardo outside of the Kit
Kat Club one night when some basketball player was throwing a party. I was
looking for the party earlier but I heard the wrong address on the radio. After
I couldn’t find the party earlier, I went to Time Square because I wasn’t ready
to go home. While out on Time Square, I sees a couple of black honeys walking
down this particular street. N.Y. is just like about every other town whereas
if you see a good looking black female, you better track her down because you
may never see her or anyone like her for a while.
So I decides to walk down this street, and what do you know there is a great big party goin’ on at the Kit Kat Club on 43rd St; the party I was searching for earlier. I walks up and stands by these two cool niggaz with Tims and sweats on. I say something to them after a while and I starts vibin’ with them. I picks out of their brain that the one guy was a rapper and was seriously trying to get on in the industry. I got around to tellin’ them that I was a producer and what not, and I hit them with a tape. Well, we ended up spending the rest of the night together. After we left the Kit Kat Club at about 3:30 A.M. we went and stood out in front of Club Ivy and waited for the crowd to leave. I met this shorty named Elaine that I thought I liked; turned out I didn’t, and that she wasn’t even good enough for me to fuck in my standard book. That spot is where I saw Grand Puba Maxwell hangin out by his 4.6 SE Range Rover. After we left there, I took them home and I went home.
Now I’ve been calling and talking to Ricardo on the phone,
and I’ve hooked with these cats a couple of times. They seem like nice well
mannered guys living with their moms and pops and just trying to make something
out of they life with music or whatever. They seem trust worthy. I am trusting
Kenneth with my apartment, with my T.V., my sampler. I know where they both
live at. I don’t think it will be worth it for them to rob me and have to live
life looking over their shoulder for me. I will kill them niggaz if they take
all that I have. Maybe they think they are running a game on an Ohio Nigga who
will be afraid to buck em down if shit get nignorant. I don’t think it will
come to that. Them niggaz is cool. I hope all their dreams materialize so I can
make some loot. I need a come up of any kind. A pay off of my car, 10 grand, or
anything; just a break you know.
So since Francine and Latonia called, maybe I’ll be in some
pussy within the next two weeks. Once I get some pussy, the rest of my life
should just fall into place. I won’t be so bored. I can call one of my honeys
over to spend the night or just to hit me off for the night and then they can
go home. Then I will be energized to do other things.
I was thinking about Sausha last night. I was listening to
the tape of me tearing the ass up and her making those sexy oooooooh! Michael
noises, and me spanking the ass. I was thinking about going to give her some of
this good dick that she said she loved so much, and to eat a little of that
delicious pussy of hers. But I don’t want to lead her on, so I’ll just leave it
be unless she calls me. I’ll probably bust a nut in Rebecca’s mouth tonight and
then go and bust one in Lauren’s ass tomorrow night.
Yeah, I’m back to doing the same shit I was doing before
with these two: fuck Rebecca during the day and fuck Lauren during the night. I
wish I could just stay the hell away
from both these bitches. Rebecca’s fat ass keeps on getting pregnant. I know
she is not gonna have another baby because she having a hard enough time with
the two she has. I shouldn’t have never started fucking with her ass again. I
shouldn’t have never went and seen her. She just started sucking my dick while
I was telling her that we shouldn’t be seeing each other. What can a man do
when his dick is in a warm mouth; whether the mouth is a fat skinny or blind
cripple and crazy bitch; he gonna submit.
I need some sex therapy or something to help me get away
from these bitches. And what it is also is that when I go home, I have nothing
to do, so why not go and let Rebecca suck my dick or spend the night with Lauren
and bust a couple of nuts in her pussy. I would like to be messing around with Rhonda
but she doesn’t have her own place.
I’ll be glad when Lauren moves to Houston. Our little
relationship will die down then forever. She probably has in her head to be
nice as she can possibly be, and then I will ask her to come and stay with me.
Sorry baby, but those days are over. I am not feeling it like that for you
anymore. I’ll probably never find me a bitch to satisfy my sexual desires;
therefore, I will probably always cheat, and one day that will lead to me getting
in big trouble. So I guess I won’t get married unless a woman is sucking my
dick right to make me forget that Rebecca’s mouth even existed, and someone who
knows how to work their ass to make me forget that Lauren existed. The Lauren
part should be pretty easy, hell I forgot about her while I was with Sausha.
But coming in Rebecca’s mouth will be kind of hard to forget. I may just fuck
Rebecca for life. Her fat ass, she will probably find another man to abuse her.
I never cared about her anymore once she started telling me how she fucked
around on me. As long as I could bust a nut down her throat, in her ass, and
live in her apartment, and get the sneakers and money I wanted, I was happy.
I’m about to start hittin’ up her pockets again. I’m gonna
tell her that I am not makin’ it in N.Y. and need $200 to cover my bills for
the month. If she gives it to me, I’ll probably try and hit her up for some
cash every three months. I’ll buy me a Sean
Jean valore sweat suit with that $200 to match these burgundy Tims I just
I really need to be spending that shit on my credit card. I’m
having a hard time out here, but like I said I’m not worrying about it too
much, I’m just gonna live. Whatever happens happens. I need about $400 hundred
more dollars a month and I’d be straight. I probably won’t make that until the
next five years. My life looks like its going to be a constant struggle to
maintain. I need to stop tryin’ to keep up with the jones and stop tryin’ to
look good. I mean I look good and the bitches here are still not paying any
attention to me.
That is a problem with niggaz; we are always spending money
on something tryin’ to get the new shit: car, gold chain, shoes, leathers. And
these companies just capitalize on our asses. Like Timberland; do you think
they have a white man in mind when they make a pair of yellow boots or burgundy
boots and label them “Special Edition?” Them shits should say on the little
tag, “Here nigga, fresh new colorful timberlands made especially just for you.
Get them while supplies last.” I only bought two pair of Tims because I got
like two for one. I should have passed that up, but I didn’t. I could have made
do with the Tims that I have already.
This world is a bitch filled with shit that you want and
desire to get all of your money. White people save money because they don’t buy
into all that shit. They dress fucked up, and drive new cars and live in nice
houses. We blacks want it all and we can’t seem to control ourselves from tryin’
to get it all neither. That’s us though, and we ain’t gonna change. I probably
ain’t gon’ change neither. Broke as niggaz is what we are and what we will be.