Jrnl Entry No. 3.31.2003

Over the weekend, I was supposed to spend it with my girlfriend but what has been happening in the last month or so is that our weekend plans have been getting botched up into arguments and us not spending the time together. See about a month before that I went on an escapade. I wasn’t feeling Watrina at the time because it always seems as if I’m the one giving her all of the attention. I love her very much and would spend most if not all my time with her if I could. I’m always trying to be around her following her like a puppy dog, and she doesn’t mind so I guess you could say that is a good thing. She could tell me to buzz off so she could do her own thing with her friends, male or female, sexual, non-sexual, whatever. But she never complains about me being there. But on the other hand she never invites me there neither. I invite myself: go to her job and meet her and then maybe we’ll go out to eat; to spend the Saturday with her and her daughter if she is not gone with her father; to spend time or the night at my house, I always ask her for these things. She never does it on her own which makes me feel like she is not that concerned at all with spending quality time with me; she can take it or leave it, it doesn’t matter. So I said, “Fuck Watrina”! I’m not asking her shit: to spend time with her, to see her, to call her.

I was kicking it with my new buddy Metaphor “Simile” “MS” Kipperton, this rapper I met on the New York Music scene who I gave some beats to and because this girl from Youngstown Ohio where I went to college at, managed him before, paid for some of his studio time; through her, he connected with me. He is well known on the scene so he gets in all of the spots for free and most of the time, would get me in for free also, so it was all cool. We were goin’ out on Saturday night to ”CREAM”, Sunday nights to “CLUB NV” or “TIKI ROOM”, Monday nights to “LOTUS”, Tuesday nights to SESSA”. I was actually having fun, living, which ever since I got here to New York, I haven’t been living because I’ve been too broke, paying bills, or not knowing where to go in the first place.

At this point, I had stopped paying my car note, I didn’t pay half my rent for one month because my electricity was out and my landlord didn’t seem as if he was making a strong effort to get the lights back on through electrical work that he had to have done. I also stopped paying my credit card bill which was draining me of $200 a month. So I had a little money to spend. I bought me a Mitchell and Ness throw-back basketball jersey for $325.00 to have the look of the male music industry scene in at least one outfit.

I wasn’t paying Watrina too much attention. And she didn’t seem to be making a big fuss out of it until like three weeks in, after I didn’t go to her nieces birthday party that she thought I planned on attending to meet most of her whole family and plus she had a magic show by a guy that I hooked up with and my other friend Zero was there. I didn’t go. After that weekend, she started really trying to see me but I was still like no, because every time we see each other, I have to wait around for her to do something else. I wasn’t waiting anymore. If she wanted to see me, no waiting till 10 P.M. or 12 A.M. is what I was on.

After that tirade, we got back on schedule a little, except for that the two weekends after that, we planned on spending Saturday night together, but we never did. One night she claimed she went to the Bronx to party with her friends in a hole in a wall bar and didn’t have cab fare back to Queens. The next weekend, which was actually the Friday and Saturday before this day that I’m writing this; Friday she claimed she wanted to see her daughter before she would send her off the next day to her father for a day and half. So at 10 P.M. she went home and told me to call her in an hour. I went home and shaped my hair up because I had this party in mind we could go to of another music industry friend who was promoting the party and the tickets were $20.00. I called her at 11 P.M. and she was not ready, saying that her daughter wasn’t home when she got there so she didn’t want to leave yet. And she knows that at these parties and clubs in New York, that if you don’t get on line by 12 A.M., chances are you won’t get in till 2 A.M. or later and the parties are over at 4 A.M.

So this was another case where she would have me waiting around on her when she told me she would be ready. I told her to forget it I was going by myself because I knew she was not ready. She said she thought the night was about me and her not the party? Well it was until she mentioned that we could go out, and I got all excited about going out with her looking sexy and being there for this dude because he knows a few people in the music industry and he likes some of my beats and he may manage me as a producer. I never told her that is why I really wanted to go to the party. What I was gonna do was go and get the tickets and come back and pick her up but after I bitched at her about not being ready when she told me she would, which seems like a ritual with her, she said she was out of the mood. So I went alone.

I got there at 12:30 A.M. The guy didn’t arrive with the ticket until 1:30 A.M. and then he was trying to get rid of 8 tickets outside so we didn’t go into the party until 2:30 A.M., and it was cold out there and I didn’t have on a jacket so I was kind of glad she didn’t come. The party was crowded, especially in V.I.P. where we were standing. I really wasn’t feeling it. I just went to see who in the music industry I could meet, which I met no one. It’s kind of hard to meet people in the V.I.P. section flossing with bottles of champagne; at least that is what I think, so I didn’t talk to anyone.

The most I said to someone was to this lady goin’ in and out of the bathroom with this guy. I said to her, “you better stay outta the bathroom with that gentleman.” She laughed at me and told me, “nothing happened in there; I know him.” As if I cared if she knew him or not, like I was gonna spread rumors around the neighborhood the next day.

I stayed till the party ended. I didn’t try to talk to any women because I wasn’t there for that. Talking to women is a job, and when I got my baby Watrina at home who seems, at times, to really care about me, and other times not, I don’t need to work to talk to other bitches, especially if they ain’t that cute and classy to begin with; which there wasn’t one woman who really caught my eye for me to say anything to.

I got home at 5 A.M. I wakes up at 8 A.M. to wash my clothes and my car, and take a shower to take Watrina’s daughter Queen to dance class at Alvin Alley. I was gonna wait for dance class to be over, and Queen’s father was getting her from there, and I was gonna spend the whole day and night with Watrina. When I went to pick her up, she claims she was ready but she took 10 minutes to get down stairs, which also seems like a ritual when it comes to me and she knows I hate that. I called her 8:30 A.M. and she said she would be ready at 9:45 A.M. But when the time came I was still washing my clothes and my car so I told her I’d be there at 10 A.M. I left my house at like 10:07 A.M. get to her house at 10:11 A.M. and she didn’t get downstairs till like 10:20 A.M. I thought she left and got a cab, which would have made me more heated because at times, she isn’t ready for her daughter’s 10:30 A.M. dance class and we don’t leave until 10:40 A.M., but she couldn’t wait on me? But she did wait on me and when she finally came to the door, I says in a comical way, “I was just getting ready to be like forget you, and leave.” She didn’t smile or nothing, just looked at me like I was stupid and got in the car. She continued to have this stupid look on her face as if she had an attitude with me but wasn’t gonna discuss it with me. So I say to her, “I don’t like your attitude.” I didn’t drive off either, so she says, “what, you want me to get out and take a cab?” I didn’t say nothing but again, “I don’t like your attitude.” She got out the car and took her daughter to take a cab, and I left.

I was ready for a joyous day with her and she gets into my car with a gas face. I just drove off and went home and went to sleep. Around 1 P.M. I woke up and got dressed, went and got my coat out the cleaners, and put my suit, which Watrina made for me, into the cleaners. I drove back home and was gonna go upstairs but I just sat in the car because I really didn’t want to do that. After 5 minutes or so of sitting there thinking where I could go, it hit me to go to Barnes and Nobles on 66^th street in Manhattan and read Russel Simmon’s book “LIFE and DEF”. So I drove to the train station, put on my jacket and took the train there. I got the book and sat down and started reading it. I sat there for like two hours steady reading. It was an interesting read because I am a Hip Hop Head who loves Russel Simmons.

After about two hours, I purchased the book and went over to Tower Records to buy Norah Jones’ “Come Away With Me” and 50 Cent’s “Get Rich or Die tryin’” albums. I already heard the 50 album because it was Hip Hop. But Norah Jones won like 10 Grammys for this album and she and 50 had been battling for the number one Billboard top 200 chart spot ever since the Grammys were televised. I knew of Norah Jones’ hit single and I liked it, hoped the whole album would sound like that. I saw the price was $12.77 and 50 was $13.99 so I bought both of them. I really didn’t want to buy 50 since I already had a good bootleg CD copy at home. But I figured, if I’m gonna buy Norah and support her and I don’t even know what this album is, what type of music it is or nothing; I better get 50, the hottest Hip Hop album out of a New York MC since Biggie Smalls “Ready To Die.”

After I left the record store, I went to Houston’s maybe hoping to see Watrina there since she said she wanted to go there; maybe catch her with a date or something because the last like 5 weekends had not been spent with me, and the night before she was acting very suspicious about her phone and me using it and maybe checking her voicemail messages. I got to Houston’s and didn’t see Watrina. I ordered dinner, during with the appetizer I started reading Russel’s book some more, and then after dinner, waiting on them to take my plate and bring my check, I read some more. I left the restaurant and went home and put the Norah Jones album in and started to read some more.

It was like 10 P.M. The Norah Jones album was light blues, and the whole album was like that single, “Don’t Know Why.” The music was light and her light voice over the light melodies and drums was a very relaxing listen. I didn’t hear the words, just the music and her voice. I’ve listened to the album like 8 times and I still don’t know half of what she is saying on none of the songs. But I could see why America is going crazy over that album. First, it’s the music and her voice. Second, if you listen closely to the lyrics, it’s blues-like and I heard a few of the lyrics and I understand why people are crazy for it. I know music of all genres, trust me, and she deserves every one of those Grammys she got.

So at this point around 10:45 P.M., I called Watrina for the third time of the day to smooth things over to see if she would come to my house for the night. She didn’t answer her cell phone. I figured because she was mad at me and also she was going out by herself, with girlfriends or a male. She didn’t call me back neither.

After realizing that I’d read over half of Russel’s book, I put it down, shut my ringer off my phone and went to bed because I was tired from only getting like 4 hours of sleep that whole night and day before. The Russel book told the story I already knew about starting Def Jam, RUN DMC, PHAT FARM, DEF COMEDY JAM, ending the distribution deal with Sony, signing with Polygram, Lyor Cohen, Russel’s model dating. What I didn’t know was that he took drugs like he did. He gave a few business pointers, life pointers, race pointers, etc.

I got up the next day and put the Norah Jones album on again and cleaned up my apartment. I still had my phone ringer off because I was mad that Watrina hadn’t spent the night with me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Eventually around 1 P.M. I turned my ringer on and went about my daily business. I went back to sleep, I got up and got dressed, did some push-ups and sit-ups. I started to cook some steak and potatoes and green beans for myself. I also started to read the Russel book some more.

Now this whole day I was contemplating just breaking up with Watrina because it’s been three years and we have been going through this shit the whole time. It’s really getting tired and old, and I just want to stop the relationship because it seems like all we do, every other weekend is be mad about something. Finally after finishing the book, finishing eating, I decided to call Watrina to talk to her and smooth over this rough edge of a weekend we had. All day I had been thinking about not calling her at all but I broke down.

See what I mean, I’m always the one, making all the effort to call, to spend time together, etc. I called her and asked her, “what are you thinking about me right now?” She had nothing to say. I was looking for her to say, that either she loved and missed me or she wants to break up. She said nothing. So we started going into the weekend issue and she had a little sass and chutzpah in her voice and speech. Let me tell you, “if a bitch is being hard with you and edgy, and unsympathetic, it says that she is tired of the situation or that she is tired of the situation and on top of that, she is fucking someone else.”

Watrina hasn’t spent really good quality time with me in a month and the last two weekends, she has disappeared on me. At the end of the conversation, because she didn’t say that she wanted to break up, I said, “forget it, drop it. I want to see you.” She said she had to braid her daughter’s hair and she would call me back and didn’t know if she would see me or not. An hour and a half later, after she was in the bed half sleep, she called me. She tells me that she is not coming over because she should have been over last night; like that was all my fault. I called her three times during the day and she never answered her phone and didn’t call me later that night. So I bid her a good night and hung up the phone on her ear slightly. I tried to call her back 10 minutes later to tell her I was trying to smooth things over and she was playing games of you-did, who-did. I called her like 7 times and she didn’t pick up the phone, playing games, but of course she is gonna tell me that she was sound asleep in 10 minutes after getting off the phone with me knowing that I was angry at her for not wanting to come over. So I left her a message that, “this relationship is over! What is wrong with trying to smooth things over by spending some time together and forgetting about Friday and Saturday, and you fucked that up on Sunday. Fuck You! I’m going out to find me another bitch to fuck since you don’t want to come over.”

I went to the TIKI ROOM and chilled; met Metphor and Zero there. I was pollyin’ about music, not concerned about bitches. I met this guy who I’d been looking at for a month now who looks like he is in the music industry. Turns out he is down with DJ CLUE and Dessert Storm and works in the Sony building down the block from where I work. I met this female “Combination” whom I’d seen around at Justin’s Restaurant on Tuesday Industry Nights, and other places like two years prior, and Metaphor said she was a rapper. I met this other guy whose face I always recognize. He managed Uncle Sam, a fallen-off R&B Singer, and a few other groups or singers who have all fallen off. I left around 2:45 A.M. drunk off Hennessy and Grand Marnier.

My mind was still made up that I’d broken up with Watrina. I called her when I woke up at 7:30 A.M. to tell her that I’m bringing her leather she bought to make me a leather suit, and her mother’s plate. She tells me to bring it later. I told her I was bringing it now. She asked, “is it that serious?” I said “Yeah, it’s that serious!” She obviously hadn’t gotten my message. When I got to her house I asked had she gotten it. She said yes, not to argue in front of her father. I told her to her face, “this relationship is over, it’s no good.” She nodded her head, handed me the stuff she’d bought for my daughter from the GAP and I left. It was over in my mind. When I got to work, she called at 10 A.M. telling me that she is coming over my house tonight, so I’m just gonna have to let her in because she is gonna be there. I told her, “don’t come and I’m not saying it’s alright because I’m not gonna do like you, always say something and then don’t do it or be late doing it.” She hung up because she was entering the train station. She called me later saying, “we shouldn’t break up. We have a nice family, and we get along together.” All of which is true, even the part about us not breaking up. I love what we have, truly, but it seems that she doesn’t love it as much as I do, or maybe I don’t love as much as I say I do because we keep having these bullshit arguments, I’m tired of them and I want out! She wants to take some time apart but still be together. I don’t believe in that shit because if you need time apart, stay apart, which we can’t seem to make it together, so maybe we should be apart.

Jrnl Entry No. 3.20.2000

You know, fuck talking about these bitches. I’ve realized that most of my stories have been about these stupid and smart bitches here in N.Y., and bitches of my past. I’ve been writing my cousin and telling him about these hoes around here who will not talk to me, will not come to my apartment. My take is this. If these hoes around here can’t recognize a nigga tryin’ to live a good life and handle his responsibilities, a real man like they are always complaining about that there are none, then fuck em.

N.Y. I’ve concluded is a bunch of small towns within a big city. Everybody here is scared of the next guy if they don’t know him, and for an outsider like me who no one knows, no one is tryin’ to talk to me. I’m gonna weather the storm of this bullshit city for a while though. If nothing happens, fuck this place; a bullshit big city filled with people who have bullshit dreams, and most who have no talent that will help them accomplish their dreams.

I went to N.Y. Comedy Club on Saturday to the 12 A.M. show. They showcased about six or seven comics, and only one was truly talented and funny. His name was Dean Morrison I think. If I was looking for someone to sponsor and make hot, he would have been it that night. The rest of the comics had their moments but none of them had that glow like this kid did. I wish him the best of luck and hopes he get his big breaks because talent like his deserves big dollars and recognition.

Sunday I stayed in bed all day and watched a little bit of a couple tournament college games. I was there lonely, thinking what and the fuck am I doing here in this city. It seems like I’m wasting my life away; not making enough money, no woman, no crew to run with, no nothing. But I’m just figuring with time it will all get better. I may as well keep moving in a forward direction.

I completed two new songs within the last like two weeks. I should probably just sit down at my sampler more often because every time I sit down, I produce something that sounds good to me. I bought a bootleg copy of Irv Gotti Presents The Murderers CD on Saturday and I listened to it. The shit was pretty bogus to me. These albums that these niggaz is puttin’ out deez dayz are just wack. They tryin’ to be on some different shit but the shit just does not work for me. The tracks are not what I want to hear. I want to hear tracks like that Screwball H.O.S.T.Y.L.E track, and that 50 Cent track “Murder, I Don’t Believe You” Those were two of the slaminest tracks I’ve heard this year come out of New York. And that shit is really disappointin’ me man. This shit that is getting put out is not exactly the shit that I’m tryin’ to roll witt. I have run into two MCs so far in this N.Y. land and they both on some ole shit that I really don’t like. I’m gonna produce shit for whoever wants it whether I like their flow or not because believe it or not, the wackest shit gets put on top.

I called my daughter and she was watching a Blues Clues tape and didn’t want to talk. She didn’t even want to come to the phone. Victoria told her “come and see who on the phone.” She didn’t say nothing like your daddy’s on the phone. I thought about calling her back and telling her about that shit, but I let it go and said fuck Victoria. She’s the stupid bitch for not wanting to promote a good relationship between her child and the father. Let her be simple. Her simpleness is why she’s still livin’ with her mom and dad at age 28, been left alone by two good niggaz in the last two years, and nothing seems to be working for her so far in life. Jealousy, envy, hatred, and evilness will get you nowhere. Youthink she would have figured this out by now. She used to worry about me not believing in god. I’m jesus compared to her ass, and all the evil shit she has on her back for me.

One day I came to realize that you pray for something and you are supposed to keep praying for it, and be patient, and eventually god will give it to you. What kind of bullshit is that? I prayed for a record contract for years and nothing ever happened. Then they always have an excuse; well, that is not what the good lord intended for you to be. The lord has a plan for everybody. So the lord doesn’t want me to be what I want to be and what I will enjoy being. I damn sure ain’t enjoying this working at these corporations shit too much.

My grandmother has been praying for what seems like all her life, and she ain’t got nothing good from it. She had a husband who cheated and beated on her, and she cheated on him. Only two of her seven kidz have real jobz and their own homes. All except for two, the youngest two, have been married or are married still. None of the married ones have had happy marriages. My Uncle Michael’s wife has been cheating on him every since the beginning of their relationship, and I guess she has stopped at this point around age 45. They’ve been together since like age 20/21. I guess they call themselves happy now. They both have good paying jobs, and just bought a brand new home in the suburbs of our bullshit city Warren. He went away to the Marines about eight / nine years ago. When he came home from basic training his back was out for some reason. Word was that his wife and her mother and brother had beat him up, or that basic training was a little much for him to handle. About two years ago I got word that what really happened was that when he got home from basic training, his wife was fucking another man in their apartment. When my uncle walked in the apartment and went upstairs in the room, the guy jumped up and beat his ass because he knew karate or something.

My Uncle Billy cheats on my Aunt Lena because she has no flair (Jazz Pazazz) about herself. My Aunt Micha and her husband have their problems so she says. My oldest aunt married one time and was divorced at a fairly young age, and she has always been sexy to me, but she never remarried or has had a real boyfriend that she brought around the family. The youngest two who have never gotten married: Janet and Kelly. Janet was a sexy thang back in her day; has been sexy up until I’d say about six or seven years ago. She was thick and always wore tight jeans with a body suit. She had a big ole ass and some big ole tidies to go witt it, but she wore too much makeup, which looked good on her back in the seventies and eighties. She and the rest of my aunts always boated that they’ve never been known to be hoes. Janet always carried herself in a lady like manner as far as I saw. She never had a real job though, and maybe that is why no one came along and swooped her up. And maybe she had some bad pussy, didn’t know how to fuck with all that ass she had. I know from experience that if the pussy ain’t good, you will not be kept, and once you are gone, you will not be remembered. Remember that shit ladies! Kelly, she never had a real job neither, and her thickness wore out to be fat way before Janet’s did. I’ve heard her talkin’ some freakiness though, so maybe she had some good pussy but nothing else to go with it to make a man want to marry her. My mom was married to my father who used to beat on her and abuse her. They got a divorce. She was still young and sexy at the time. We moved to California when I was five, and she met her second husband when I was like seven. He was nice to her and me: no drugs, didn’t fight her. They were quite happy I suspect. She even said he had some good dick. Well they got robbed one day in California. Now she is 47, fat, no life, no hope. Just smokes, eats, and sleeps and watch my little cousins when asked.

So my grandmother’s family is not at all a bright, blessed family. She is even living from SSI check to SSI check. If her car breaks down, I don’t know what she is going to do about another one. Well she probably has some money in the bank. I don’t know. I’m her only descendant to date that has graduated from college and tryin to do something big with my life. My one cousin works at a good factory in Warren, Ohio and is doin’ well; bought her a house and is raising her son nicely. His father is in his life a little I guess. She was fucking around with two light skinned niggaz when she got pregnant, and told the wrong one that the baby was his. I think her and her mother have a thing for light skinned and fair skinned men. Her mother called herself in love with this mixed looking nigga named Prince at one point in her life. He was a pretty small time hustler in town or maybe he was big time at one point. I don’t know what happened to him and her though, but that was her man. My cousin Jerome, his mother Micha has convinced him that we are not family any more. He is making a career out of the service in the Navy. He married a white / German woman who cheated on him so they divorced. My cousin Carla had a baby at age 15 by a guy who is in jail for a gang fight where they nearly beat some white kids to death. She just recently had another baby by some guy in jail for statutory rape of a 14 year old girl. She works for this company Wetzel Corp. My Uncle Michael’s kidz, three: one of which is not his, one which is rumored to not be his, and the youngest who is supposed to be his. The two oldest, one has two kidz and the other has one kid, and the youngest has one kid. The youngest, her baby is by the pastor (married) of her old church that my Grandmother used to attend. She has a pretty good job and is taking care of herself and her son. The middle one, his first kid came when he was 17 / 18 by some white girl and her family took the girl and shipped her to California and we’ve never seen the baby. After losing his girl and baby and not being able to do anything about it, he got his balls clipped as to never have another baby ever again. He has gone on to make a career out the service: Air Force. The oldest, I don’t know what she does. She was in the Army. She had a son by some guy in San Francisco. He loves his son, and has joint custody of him. Somehow they had another child, and she has him full time I guess. They were supposed to be fighting when she came up pregnant again. My cousin Samuel has been in and out of jail the last ten years tryin’ to be a drug dealer. He never made it in the drug game though. He tried to introduce me to it, but I was scared of going to jail because of the stories my family told me about getting pumped in the booty. Later on in life, I found out that those stories were not all true; getting pumped in the booty happened in jail, but not to everybody every time, just mostly prisons where niggaz is locked up for life for murder and rape and shit like that. I wished I would have joined my cousin, with my help, we could have came up in the game because while most niggaz was beating people up and fighting all the time, I would have been killing niggaz for tryin’ to take mine. I probably would have still went to college, and have close to a mill or five hundred thousand stacked up by now. He has a mixed little girl, and a black little girl whom his mom helps him with seeing and taking care of. The mixed little girl is out of town with her mom and she comes to Warren I guess every other summer.

Me, if it wasn’t for abortion, I would have 1,2,3,4,5,6 kidz by now. Christina; the fat white girl Carmel; Rebecca; Elizabeth; Sausha; and Victoria who had my baby girl Janelle. Victoria got pregnant after three months of us fucking around. I thought we would make it. I thought I liked her, but as time went on, I discovered that I didn’t like her. And once I left her once and for all the second time around, she has hated me every since and has given me trouble with building a relationship with my daughter. We have a relationship, but Victoria would throw a wrinkle in every now and again, and her hate still remains for me. I love my daughter and try to take care of her, and see her as much as her mom will let me. I have no concern for Victoria, good or bad. And like I said, she has a bad attitude, and her pussy wasn’t that great, so she wasn’t kept, and now that she is gone, she is not remembered.

I just finished my 2^nd 90 minute tape of my songs. As I did on my first tape I left a message telling my daughter that I love her. I also left a message for her mother played backwards. If you can figure out how to get it played forward Victoria, you can hear it. Listening to my songs, there is something about them that I do not like. They are not hard enough to me and they don’t sound… Hold up, I know what the problem is; the problem is that I have been exposed to all this bullshit being played over the airwaves, and I haven’t bought many albums lately to listen to because I can’t afford it. I think my shit has a place on the underground circuit. I have a few songs that can hold their own weight above ground also. I think I’ll be fine with my tracks.

I was going to try and go to Florida next weekend to the Black College Spring Break and stay with my cousin Romeo, but I don’t think I will be able to make it. He offered to give me some money to help pay for the ticket, but I don’t want him paying for my trip like he did the last time I went and seen him in Kansas. I’m a grown man now, and I should be able to pay for my own trip. Back when I went to Kansas, I was still in college and didn’t have a real job. Now, I’m working full time. I can’t really afford to go but fuck it. He’s been living there for five years now and I haven’t seen his home that he and his wife had built, and she is talking about building another one. I hope my wife and I can make moves like them and have a nice home and drive nice vehicles like they do.

I am bringing Janelle to New York with me this weekend anyway, so I’ll spend the time with her. Her mom doesn’t want to let me bring her, but fuck her. I am a man taking care of his responsibility. I have a right to have my daughter come and stay with me a couple weeks every couple of months. She is just being a bitch saying I can’t bring her home with me. But I ain’t standing for her bullshit no mo. I’m gonna tell her like this, “she is my daughter too. If you want to fight me and press kidnapping charges on me, go ahead. But while you calling me complaining about money and insurance, if I’m in Jail, you can’t get shit from me; so going against me, you going against yourself and your daughter.” I’m gonna see what she what she gonna do though. Victoria you better recognize that all this negative energy that you are throwing out is holding you back from the life that you want to live. You gonna fuck around and be living with Jethro and Darlene forever, and just wrinkle up in that house.