Jrnl Entry 9.13.2000 “MY HIP HIP STORY” PART VIII

Yeah, I live in New York now and have been here for a year. That feeling I used to have when I’d visit of walking around blending in as a New Yorker with Timberlands on and baggy jeans caused me to move here. I am finally here now, and it’s not feeling good at all. My plan was to move here, find me a couple of women to chill with, and make moves in the music industry. What actually happened when I got here was that I wasn’t able to meet any women, none! I thought I could maybe meet people out shopping or something, in a nice lounge bar, but it’s not like that here. Come to think about it, I don’t think it’s like that anywhere. When I was going out in Cleveland, I never picked up any women. I guess women don’t talk to you if they don’t know you or know of you, or someone that they know knows you. “I know I look good so it couldn’t be my looks.” (Ed O.G.) When Ed O.G. made that song “Gotta Have Money To Make It Witt The Ladies In The 90’s” He was telling the truth for the 90’s and beyond because it’s year 2000 and the same applies. If you don’t have a fly ride or are not a celebrity in New York and don’t know nobody, you are doomed.

I’m here trying to accomplish my dream of getting into Hip Hop, but with no women and no friends, it’s getting hard. I’ve talked to at least 100 girls in the last year, more than I’ve probably ever talked to in life, and didn’t strike anything with any of them. I talked to about 5 over the phone and nothing became of them. It’s ridiculous that there are millions of people walking around in this city and you can’t talk to anyone, at least not on a meeting and get to know on a relationship level. New York has some of the finest women of all races walking around, but you go and speak to them and it’s like “why are you saying something to me?” Even if you are polite, you still get dissed. Right now as I am writing this, I am depressed and don’t know what I am going to do. I don’t even like being outside in the city. I feel like it’s just me here and the rest of the outside world I’m seeing through a sound proof glass.

I went out last weekend with Burton who came to New York from Ohio. I talked to a really nice young lady by the name of Michelle at the Club Two Eyes We exchanged numbers and she gave me the wrong number. I talked to about four other girls that night and gave them my number and no one has called. Women here don’t give out their phone number like I can get to em’ and kill em’ through the phone. I told Michelle, if after calling a couple times and I see that you are not interested, I will not call anymore because I don’t have time for that. I told her I was a mature young man looking for a mature young lady, out of college or stable in her life. She told me she was in graduate school. I asked if we could get to know each other? She said yeah and we exchanged numbers. I called her Sunday night, and she gave me the wrong number. It just gets me down that I can introduce myself to a woman that I like, talk to her for a moment, and then she gives me the wrong number. I’m at the point now where I’m telling myself that I will not introduce myself to anymore women in this city.

I haven’t made any connections in the Hip Hop world neither. I ‘m kind of confused as to what type of Hip Hop I should be making. Underground artist such as Mos Def and Slum Village, who both have dope albums, they don’t sell. I want this music to be my living, and a good living. How am I supposed to live producing songs on albums that don’t sell to provide me with that living? The tracks being produced out on the mainstream, I don’t like half of them. I just try and make funky music. It must not be funky enough because out of like 25 tapes that I’ve submitted in person to rappers such as Raekwon of the Wu-Tang Clan, Talib Kweli of Black Starr and Reflection Eternal, and Rampage of the Flip Mode Squad, I have gotten no calls. I gave a tape to Black Rob’s brother and he gave me no call. I gave a tape to this kid named Poo Cabroxi, he called me and wanted two tracks on the tape. After I gave him the two tracks on a separate tape, he never called me again. He was telling me that I was gonna be recordin’ the songs in Daddy’s House Studios because his boy who wanted the songs was signed to Bad Boy Entertainment.

I sent a tape to my cousin who used to work for Motown. She is in Atlanta now. She didn’t respond. I cursed her out for not responding to me to tell me anything. She talked to me like she was some big A&R, not my cousin. She said since I cursed her out, she cannot help me. And she was working in the same office building as the Organized Noise producers who produced Outkast. She never introduced me to no one, so I said fuck her. I also know a guy who is down with DJ Clue. He is one of my good friend’s cousin by the name of Windexter. He was on the inside cover of Clue’s first mix tape on a major label. He grew up with Clue’s manager Richie. Every time I call this guy, he is never home. Or when I do talk to him, he never seems to have time to hang out, not even as a friend, which was my initial plan anyway because I thought he was a cool cat. I asked him to introduce me to Richie one time. He told me to call him one Saturday so he could listen to my tape, but he wasn’t home when I called. I even told him that if I get paid, I’d pay him, but he still hasn’t responded to me.

So I’m just here and I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do with my life. I’m not gonna quit yet. I’m just feeling really down. So what started out as a bud in 84/85 lead me here to New York City feeling kind of depressed in the year 2000. I expected the rejection in the music industry, but the rejection from these women, I didn’t expect, and I am not handling it so well. But hopefully with time things will get better. I feel I want this music Hip Hop dream so bad, that I’m willing to go through all this because anywhere else I’ll have nothing to chase but a corporate ladder, which I don’t feel like chasing right now. I have a feeling that chasing that ladder will probably take me further in life than this Hip Hop dream, but what can I say. I want Hip Hop to be my life, not accounting in a corporation and definitely not in an accounting firm. It’s providing me with a means to live, but it’s not in my heart, HIP HOP IS!

Jrnl Entry No. 9.13.2000 “MY HIP HOP STORY” PART III

Nelson and I, with his equipment, we started producing songs; sampling snare taps and bass kicks and other sounds. We even had a little mix down process that we did. We’d record something on one tape, and then play that tape back and record it with additional sounds and vocals, etc. It was with Nelson that I wrote “I’m Hype”, “In Effect” using the E.F.F.E.C.T. from Rakin Microphone Fein”, “I’m Getting’ Busier”, “It’s Party Time”, “The Continuous Rap”, and “Parents Stop Buggin”, you can guess where I got the idea for that song. We recorded about four songs in his room and we were just gonna continue building.

Our most promising song that we ever recorded in that room was “It’s Party Time”. We’d discovered this James Brown record. It was so funky. I forgot the name of it. Big Daddy Kane used it on his “I Get The Job Done” album. I think the name of his song was “Callin’ Mr. Welfare” He just used the beginning bass line and the intro horn, but we used the whole entire song. We had to because the song was so funky and melodic with the horns. We looped it twice and that was the song. My verses and breaks fit perfectly. Nelson was transformer scratching on the breaks, and like my second or third verse came right where the song started over again. It was love. We had sampled some record I think by Jackie Wilson where’d he say “It’s Party Time”, and we put some delay on it that was built into the sampler. I thought that this was the song that was gonna get us a call back from a record company for sure. I played it for my family and they loved it. My younger cousins liked it. I remember just listening to it and thinking, “this is a hit, this is the song that’s gonna get us a contract.” I sent it in and of course, nothing happened but some more of those letters.

My cousin Romeo and Angel had told Romeo’s sister who worked for Motown at the time; had been working there for like ten years. They told her that I wanted to be a rap star. They called me with her on the phone on three way, and she told me to send her a tape. So I recorded the songs that Nelson and I had recorded in his room on a little cheap tape and sent it to her. She called me back saying that the tape was garbage, the sound quality stunk, etc. She told me to hook up with my cousin Mantrix and record the songs over.

So Nelson and I began looking for some beats to rap over. We found one perfect one, which was off the first Stetsasonic album. I rapped “In Effect” to it and it sounded dope. We had did it up in Nelson’s room like three times trying to get the right mix and scratches down for it. We had the right mix, and all we had to do was put the vocals over it. Nelson flaked on me. I was calling him all week, but he was hiding out over his brother’s house. I went over there one day to talk to him and he said he didn’t want to do this no more. So that was the end of us as “TWC”. From there, I got like two others beats and looped them at home on my stereo. I had a “Trouble Funk” song for the “I’m Hyped” lyrics, and I had looped a James Brown beat for “The Continuous Rap”.

I went to my cousin’s studio and recorded the songs solo. We layed the looped tracks down. My cousin told me I had to put a drum track over them to give them some umft. I used the bass and the clap sound off that Casio drum machine he had to do this. I really didn’t need the clap sound which made the songs sound kind of wack. I didn’t take notice of this until a couple months later when I was letting my friends listen to it.  I made the tape, was confident in my rhymes and the songs as total packages, and sent the tape to my cousin who worked for Motown. She called back and said that some guy said I had potential but I wasn’t good enough. I had been bragging to her how good the tape was. I was especially hype about the song “I’m Hype” with the “Trouble Funk” beat. It was the first song I put on the tape. I had also sent this tape to companies in New York, and got a few letters back.

After about six months I made another tape. This time I recorded “I’m Getting’ Busier”. This song was the shit, and I know it could have sold millions if it would have gotten into the right hands. I still listen to it today and think about how big it could have been. I looped the “Doo Wah Ditty” beat by Roger Troutman and Zapp. This was about the time of Heavy D’s “Big Tyme” album where he did “More Bounce To The Ounce” and people were crazy about that song. I had looped my song perfectly. It was a perfect arrangement of a song I tell you. I sent this tape to my cousin and she never responded. Right around this time also on Motown, was the wack group “Rodney O and Joe Cooley.” Oh, I called and left a message on my cousin’s answering machine about them telling her how wack they were and that I knew I was better than them. I guess she didn’t like my confidence and cockiness. She never responded still. But her not responding wasn’t that bad after all because I got a response back from New York. I remember when my mom told me one day home from school that Stu Fines from Wild Pitch Records had called me. I was bubbling inside with joy, finally I would get signed and be on tour and all my dreams would happen.